So I’ve mulled over the idea of writing a blog. I told myself no! You don’t have the gift for taking fabulous pictures and posting great stories that make everyone want to move to the seaside just to be like those amazing bloggers. You don’t have many amazing travel stories (unless you count the 6 hour tailback on the drive back to Scotland from Cornwall that time when you were 6 months pregnant, that involved Tom watching back to back movies and having his first KFC like it was THE best day ever, while I sweated my ass off (literally) , our swearing got louder and louder throughout the day and we fell out at least 40 times). You don’t have the humour. Well, let’s be honest, everyone think they’re hilarious, that their cutting sarcasm is wasted on their weary colleagues, but to actually describe yourself as funny? That’s terrifying! Not sure my fragile ego could take that kind of e-rejection!
So I left the idea.
Then I changed my mind. Why? Prepare for my first oversharing post…
I’m a bit of all or nothing person. When life is good I think no-one’s life could compare to mine. I’m in list-making/internet research overdrive (think, the next 5 years holidays, all the clothes I want to buy, great family days out, house renovation ideas, and so on and so forth). It’s when I’m feeling good that I count my lucky stars for my amazing house, family and friends, and pat myself on the back for working, keeping fit, trying my best to cook healthy meals for my family and for all the quality time we have together.
When I have a bad day I think my entire life is shit – I’m a terrible mum because I shout too much and rush the bedtime story…or sell the ‘for a treat why don’t you watch another 10 minutes of your cartoon instead of a story’, I’m a terrible wife because I nag and spend 99% of our nights together in my dressing gown, huddled under a giant blanket, staring at my phone. It’s when I’m feeling fed up that I think about all my interests and how they are generally put on a back burner in favour of family life. I used to work in theatre and still love to attend, yet barely get to a couple of live shows a year now. I used to LOVE exercise, now I still enjoy it when I do it but the drive to get out there and do it has been replaced with a yearning for my giant blanket each night. I used to be a complete bookworm, now my yearly resolution of reading just one book a month fails miserably as I fall asleep after about 3 pages. You get the general gist. Please don’t misunderstand me, I love my family and wouldn’t change a thing for the world (apart from the lack of sleep, time to myself to pee or get ready in the morning, having to share my breakfast every day, and the extreme ageing that has hit my tired wee face) and no one has stopped me doing the things I love, it’s just that family life is all-consuming and we generally put ourselves on the back burner as parents.
Something had to change. I decided to go for it. If nothing else, writing a blog will be for me, something to focus on and a great way to document our lives.
Hopefully by writing about the times we have as a family I’ll try to see the good, or at least the funny in the hardest of days.
Hopefully by writing about books, fitness, travel, clothes etc I’ll start finding the time to focus on them.
Hopefully I’ll find that my ordinary wee life is relatable and others like to read my nattering.
Hopefully I’ll have the validation that I am as hilariously self deprecating as Sarah Millican, or have that lovely warm humour of Dawn French. Basically that I’m funny as F!
If not, I’m ok with that. I’m safe in the knowledge that I have the cringe growing up stories ready for any time Tom and Lois are needing brought down a peg or two.